You Can't Have It All

I've been pondering life's direction a lot lately.
     Maybe it's because I just gave birth to my seventh child.
          Maybe it's because my second child just left our nest, maybe for a year, maybe forever.
               Maybe it's because of the uncertainty of the economy and The Builder's job.
                    Maybe it's because I spend a large part of my day nursing Silas and thinking about life.

I remember a writing assignment in a college class I took long ago. The assignment was "Your View of Life's Choices - Is There Only One Right Way". Or something like that. I don't remember all the details, but I do remember comparing life to water flowing. You see water flowing in a brook, and that water can flow along many different paths of the brook, or it might come to a "dead end" and go under ground for a while, but it will resurface. The brook might only flow as a trickle, barely visible unless you're looking for it. Or it might join with a larger stream and then a river and flow along in a fast current. No matter which path the water takes, it still all ends up in the ocean. (Work with me here.) Is the fast current on a better path than the slow trickling brook?


Is there only One Right Way? God's One Perfect Plan for our lives and anything else is second best? I don't think so. I think He teaches us what we need to know wherever we are. Oh, sure, we can definitely make choices that are plainly wrong, but if there are two or more paths to choose that appear equally right, does it really matter which one we pick? I think we can apply that to the big things (career choices) and to the little things (where to spend Saturday afternoon).  We need to realize that saying yes to one path means saying no to others. You simply can't have it all.  The important thing is to live your life with joy, faith, love, kindness, honesty, integrity, patience and humility. That's the hard part.

Time Flies When You're Busy

Such a busy summer we've had. 

Trying to get some projects done around the house. 

Trying to enjoy the summer. 

Trying to enjoy the last few months before Josh left for school. 

Trying to prepare for the newest little one to join us.  

And now, here we are. At the end of summer. Fall is coming in quickly, although we did have a bit of a reprieve with a return to summer temperatures for a couple of days. And as proof of how quickly time is flying by, my brand new baby is One Month Old. I don't quite know where the days went.

Silas, the day he was born

Silas, One Month Old

 He's growing up far to fast for my taste.

Birthdays are hard work

Why We Won't Turn on the Hose Today

Yesterday was hot. Well, as hot as things get in June in our part of the world, certainly not as hot as things get in other parts, but hot as we define it here. Anyway, I thought I'd get the outside work done early, and then maybe do something fun and water-y with the kids. So we headed out to the garden to finish removing the rocks that grew over the winter. The middles brought their summer school books (Math and Reading), we packed up water and headed down to the garden. We brought the goats, too. They like to graze in the field while we work down there. The kids all hang out in the shade house while I get some gardening done.

Emma thought the goats should be allowed in the shade house, too.

So while I worked on raking and pulling weeds and throwing rocks, the goats grazed nearby.

Why do I put up a gate?

Sometimes they were a lot nearer than I wanted, but they did help with the weeding.   Emma thought she'd take them for a walk, Talking with them the whole way.

Emma, Goat Whisperer

Sophie kept a close watch on everything.

Sadly, we were only down there for about an hour and a half before the heat made me realized that the garden, which has already waited this long, could wait a couple more days. Cooler weather is on the way.  Even Abby was glad when we decided to head back to the house to take a break.

And that was our morning. So in the afternoon I thought I'd let the kids have some fun and turn on the hose and I'd take a break for the afternoon. I took Emma and Sophie out to play with Zach and Maddie in the water, and I realized that, well, since the water was on anyway, I should scrub the 5 area rugs that have been sitting outside for far too long waiting for me to stop being so lazy have time to scrub them down before storing them until next winter.

When I was done with the rugs, since the water was on anyway, I thought I'd water the strawberries I recently planted.  While I was watering the strawberries, I realized that the grapes needed to be weeded. So I did that. When I was done weeding the grapes, I looked over at the blueberries and realized that they needed some weeding as well. So I did that. And the kids had fun playing in the water. And that was my afternoon break. So we won't turn on the hose today, because I'm too tired to take a break.

The Turkey Ark

 I wanted to show you the shelter my amazing husband built for the turkeys.

He mostly used materials he had on hand, because we're really tired of spending more on animal housing than we do on maintaining our own, so "cheap" was the operative word. He screened the sides with 1" poultry wire, built roosts for the turkeys, put in two doors - one for the turkeys to get in and out and one for us to access their food and water. It's gorgeous! When he finished building it, we thought it looked ark-like, hence the name - the Turkey Ark.  We The Builder and the middles dragged it out to the field, came back for the turkeys and put them in their new home, safe and secure. That was Saturday.

Perhaps we should have called it the Turkey Titanic. Because sometime between Monday night and Tuesday morning a weasel found our Ark. Unfortunately, the weasel also found our turkeys. When I went to check on them Tuesday morning we were down by two. So The Builder stopped by the hardware store for reinforcements. (So much for keeping it cheap!) He picked up hardware cloth to reinforce the sides and the bottom of the Ark and ended up spending the whole evening working on it with Josh's assistance. He basically ended up re-framing the whole thing, placing the hardware cloth (which is supposed to be weasel proof) over top of the poultry wire, then lifting the whole thing and covering the bottom as well. The hardware cloth wasn't large enough to reach all the way around the bottom, so he overlapped it and anchored it in place with some pretty large rocks until he can "stitch" the opening closed. 

I think the remodel was successful, because this morning all 9 turkeys were still there, alive and well. While I did some work in the garden I let them out to free-range. They were hesitant at first (do you blame them?), but they seemed to enjoy the freedom.

This Week

So much happening, it must be posted in bullets, or it will never be posted.

• Transcript for 4 years of high school compiled for Josh to graduate.
• This was a tough one because most of our records were online, and we've had multiple computer and printer problems this year. 
• This required digging through boxes in the cellar to find school work from 9th and 10th grades.
• This also required some serious crunch time on Josh's part, which resulted in serious crunch time for grading the work on my part.
• We're done. He graduates tomorrow!
• The Builder made a shelter for the 11 turkeys that have been living in our garage for a month. The Turkey Ark was finished today, and the turkeys were relocated to their new home.
• The 20 21 23 22 many chickens that have been living in the garage for a month have been moved to the coop, affectionately referred to as the Taj-Ma-coop. We'll see how they do.
• The 9 ducks that have been living in our garage for a month have been relocated to temporary quarters until permanent shelter is built found.
• We went to our last day at the middles' homeschool co-op. Lots of fun was had by all. We ended the day with very tired middles and littles, and a Mama who is grateful for time off for the summer but is wondering what she'll do without weekly sanity checks.
• We ALL (even Josh and The Builder) went on a field trip to Children's Day at a small living history museum. It was a wonderful way to end the official school year.
• The garden was planted prepared for planting. We're a little behind, but it seems that rocks grew very well over the winter and they needed to be removed. We got half of it done. We're a little late for planting here, but we're still going to put everything in and see what comes up. Because you never know.
• Zach learned how to drive the tractor and tilled half of our field for planting. He's walking much taller now, with a little man-swagger.
• Zach and Maddie each got to back a vehicle down the driveway to clear the way to clean out the garage. They both have a little bit of man-swagger.
• The 100 strawberry plants I planted last week are doing very well, even though some of our chickens think the new strawberry bed is a custom built dust-bath just for them. I still need to mulch them. Maybe next week.
• Bingley the baby boy goat is a little "less" boy. We had him neutered (which is a much better alternative than the meat market). I was amazed at how fast and easy the process was. Much better than disbudding.
• Maddie finished up all her reading books for the year and is looking for more. 
• Maddie and Zach finished science for the year.
• I'm looking forward to our first summer "off" in several years. Other than some reading and math (which are year-round subjects), we're done with school!

Sorry, no pictures. With all those things going on, did you really expect me to take and download pictures? Impossible!

20 years

7,300 days

 And every new day is a blessing.

 1,040 weeks

Filled with far too much time apart, but loving the moments when we're together. 

240 months

Births and birthdays, new homes, new jobs, new states, teaching children, graduations, weddings, grandchildren, growing together.

20 years

Remembering beautiful times together, enjoying the moments we are given, planning and looking forward to many more.

Saving Money: Ground Beef

We go through quite a bit of ground beef here at our cottage so it's something I buy on a regular basis when it's on sale, but I recently needed some and we were all out. Ideally, I'd love to buy grass fed beef on a regular basis, but I can buy it cheaper if we get a quarter or half from a local farm and I just haven't done it for a while. It's on my list of things to do before the baby's born. (Yes, it's a very long list.)

So, here I am, needing ground beef, and not having any in the freezer which means I was at the mercy of whatever price the grocery store was charging. (Yes, I could have changed my menu, but that would ruin the story.)  The ground beef was $3.49 a pound for 85% ground beef. OUCH! I needed 10 pounds. I certainly didn't want to spend $35 just for the meat! But wait! There is a better way. Walk over to the beef section of the store and price the boneless chuck roasts. The day I was at the store, they were $2.99 a pound. So we took 10 pounds of chuck roasts over to the butcher's counter and asked him to grind it for us. We saved $5.00. Not bad. But we could do better. Boneless chuck roasts go on sale pretty frequently (about once a month or so) and the sale price is about $1.99 a pound. So if we plan our purchases around the sales, we can save a whole lot more.  I'm pretty sure all stores will offer this service, as long as they have an in store butcher, so it's worth it to ask. And the best part is that it's free. And we get to see what's REALLY going into our ground beef.

Busy, Busy, Busy

Bingley when he was 15 minutes old.

 

Turkey poult reading the news.

Little baby ducks.

It's spring here in New England. Which means there are LOTS of things calling for attention. Baby chicks, baby ducks, baby turkeys. Preparing garden beds, mulching garden beds, planting, weeding, cleaning. And then there's the end of the school year push. Every year in May I can see the end of the year coming and completely lose my schooling focus. This year it happened at the end of April. So we entered May mode in April, but now I'm ready for summer mode and it's still May. It's pretty difficult keeping children on track when I'm not!

Plus this year we have to pull together final grades for Josh, who is graduating in just over 2 weeks! And we don't have only final grades to pull together, but grades for 9th and 10th grades which were stored oh-so-safely (NOT!) on a computer that decided to have several hiccups along the way. I still have all his work, but it's stored in the basement under all the things we haven't needed to access in the last 2 years. So in order to get to all his old work, I need to go through the stuff on top. And it makes sense to sort what I'm going through while I'm going through it, right? So let's just say that I have a few things on my things to do list.

And on top of it all is the oh-my-goodness-the-baby's-coming-in-as-little-as-9 weeks! I still haven't gotten through my pre-Sophie project list, and she's 20 months old! I think my spring and summer are pretty well spoken for.

Mother's Day Blessings

Reminiscing. Thinking of all the mothers in my family. My great-grandmothers, most of whom I never met, but still are such a big part of who I am. The one who had to leave one of her children in another country for years because they didn't have the money to bring her home. The ones who left home for new lands and new opportunities. The one who lost a son in WWII. Strong women, all of them.

My Great-Grandmother, Amelia, is the second on the left. My grandfather is the handsome blond sailor in the back on the right.

My grandmothers. I love them dearly. One who told me on her 83rd (or 84th?) birthday that her biggest regret in life was not having more children. One who never talked about children until after my third child was born and just mentioned that she always wanted more but had many miscarriages. No one ever knew. One leaving home and family to marry the man of her dreams, the other marrying after a brief 6-week courtship and then sending her husband off to war, not seeing him again for 2-3 years. Strong women, both of them.

My still beautiful grandmother.

My mother. Raising two children as a single mom. Warm and creative. Working to provide the best she could. A strong woman.

My grandmother, my mom, my oldest daughter, and me.

I'm next on the family mother tree. I am a blessed woman. Abundantly blessed. I think about each child of mine. Each one so precious.

The oldest, Kate, a mama herself now and living too far away, preparing to move to an even greater distance in a week. Born when I was so young, and didn't know the first thing about being a good mother, but wanting to giver her the best of me that I possibly could. She is the fierce protector of her baby I always knew she'd be. Graceful, passionate, beautiful.

The next one, Josh, now a man preparing to leave our nest. He spends less and less time here. I miss him already, but I'm so honored to be his mother and I look forward to watching the next few years. Gifted, humble, a quiet and strong leader.

And then my quirky, particular, and oh-so-funny Zach, the boy who is quickly growing out of boyhood, loving books and dragons and legos and swords, still giving me swift hugs when he passes me in the kitchen. 

Sweet Maddie, so tender hearted and kind. Probably the one most like me in likes, but so much like her Papa in personality. Dress wearing, tractor driving, loving to knit and bake and sew and run barefoot and splash in the creek and care for the animals.

Little Emma, a princess. Blond-haired beauty with a quick smile. Dumping toys from boxes so she can stand taller next to me to play with my hair - her habit when she's tired. So wanting to be in charge, but just barely 3 years old and the 5th child makes it hard to be the boss.

Sophia Rosebud, the current littlest, but not for much longer. Dark, curly hair and a deep belly laugh. Such a petite little body, but such a big personality, a fearless monkey imitating everyone around. Curious, climbing, busy.

And the soon to come littlest. A boy? A girl? Blond or dark? Serious or fun-loving?

Each one is such a gift, a treasure. I did nothing to deserve them. So much love in this little cottage of a home. Oh, yes. I am a very blessed woman. And I'm so grateful to be the descendant of so many strong women. I hope I am able to honor them in the way I live my life.

A Better Rhythm

Such a long day today. Homeschooling middles, chasing littles, cooking, cleaning, laundering, cleaning again, budgeting, planning, talking, washing, praying. Ending up around the dinner table with frozen pizzas and a very tired Mama.

And then, everything changed. 

He came home. 

It's amazing to me how the atmosphere in our home changes when The Builder is here. Everyone seems to work a little harder, moving together in a better rhythm. He doesn't complain about the frozen pizza. He's just grateful to be able to eat with his family. And, of course, as soon as he walked in the door he opened his arms to me for a long embrace, taking away all the frustrations of the day. God has blessed me with the most wonderful man I've ever met.

And now, after dinner, he took the littles and the middles outside for a bit to give me a moment of quiet. But the birds are chirping, and my children are laughing, and the goats are calling for their supper, and my husband is out there while I am in here. So I'm going to go out to join them. Because that's where I belong.

Recipe: Homemade Corn Chowder

I made corn chowder for dinner. Everyone loved it. I mean they LOVED it. I didn't really follow a recipe, just looked at a few different ones, combined what sounded good, and started with a lot of butter. Everything is better when you start with butter, right?

So, here's the 'recipe' so I'll be able to make it again someday. Because if I don't post it, I'll never remember what I put in it. Oh, and you can try it, too.

• Start with a lot of butter in a dutch oven. No, really, put in more. Okay, now a bit more. There, that looks good. Actually I used about a cup of butter. 
• Then add some onions. Not a lot, because Zach doesn't like them. Just a little for flavor. Or more if you're not feeding Zach. (Really, this is how I cook.)  Cook the onion in the butter until it's transparent. Or until Zach comes in and looks in the pot and wrinkles his nose when he sees the onions.
• Now look in the fridge for some ham. Yep, found some. Deli sliced ham. Slice it into little squares. Add it to the onions and butter. I think I used about 10 slices. Bacon (already cooked) would work well instead.
• Now add about a cup or so of chicken stock. Homemade is best. Store bought works just as well.
• Add 3 cans of creamed corn. Yes, 3 cans. I know you don't like creamed corn, but it will taste fine. Trust me. 
• Peel and dice some potatoes. I dice them small, like a half-inch square. They cook faster that way and they're cute little bite size pieces. It looks pretty. I used maybe 7 small potatoes. Maybe more. Maybe less. It's whatever I had left in the bag.
• Cook all this together stirring pretty frequently because everything really wants to stick to the bottom of the pan. It will if you answer the phone or wash the dishes. So don't be tempted. Pay attention. Cook until the potatoes are soft. Taste one to see.
• Then add about 1 1/2 (yes, one AND one-half) cups of half and half. Whole milk won't cut it. Just do it. You'll thank me. Simmer gently until it's all heated through. Don't boil.
• Make some quick homemade baking powder biscuits to go with it. You could do this while the potatoes are cooking. Just don't forget to stir the chowder. Enjoy.

April - in like a Lion?

Once again, I lack regular posting. Let me tell you, this has been and eventful winter. We've had so many viruses visiting us, we've reserved them space in the guest room. I wish they'd go away. The most recent attacks have been a coughing fit that lasted about 2 weeks, ending with a sinus infection for me. Then we had a very sexist stomach virus visit. It only attacked the females of the house. Funny thing is, even the dog was sick. And that one hit while The Builder was away on business. The good news is that he was able to avoid it, but then again, all the other males in the house avoided it as well.  I think we're finally done. After all, spring is here! We can tell when we look out the window and see..... over a foot of snow. Oh yes, God definitely has a sense of humor. He's celebrating April Fools' Day here in the northeast. My crocuses are weeping.

Yesterday was a much springier day. It was almost 50 degrees out, so we all partook of the warmth and sunlight. I did some light yard work, just picking up some of the branches that had fallen in the yard over the winter and tossing them into a pile in the woods. Emma was doing it, too. I asked her if she was helping me clean up the yard. She said, "No. Emma throw stuff." Forget the cleaning up, the joy of throwing stuff won. Good thing she kept throwing it into the same pile in the woods.  Sophie spent her time realizing that she could walk around the yard on her own. She diligently avoided the remaining snow piles, and the dog mines, thank you Abby.

I'm starting to get some of my old energy back. Unfortunately, the project list is huge from not doing any inside the house projects over the winter, and now that spring is (supposedly) here, there's a huge outside the house project list to be added. It will be interesting to see what gets done (and what doesn't) over the next few months.

Simple Things

The simplest things bring such pleasure:

Playing 500 Rummy with the whole family last night
...

Waking up with my husband this morning and seeing our two littles sprawled across the bed between us
...

Enjoying a quiet cup of coffee with my husband before the rest of the house awoke
...

Getting to make my husband breakfast before he left for work
...

Seeing the sun shining through my windows
... 

Actually having my checkbook balance
...

Boiling off sap on my living room wood stove to make maple syrup
...

Dreaming and planning with my husband
...

Watching the littles share secrets under the desk

Adjustments

I'm home from church again. My two littles are with me. Between Sophie's still runny nose (though she is getting better and is fever free. Thank you, Jesus!) and Emma's German Shepherd barking cough, and my too tight to really breathe well without coughing and coughing even if I try to take little breaths, we decided it was best for the three of us to stay home. I'll tell you, it has been a Very Long Time since the whole family has been able to worship together. But what a blessing to be home today - the sun is shining beautifully outside (melt that snow!), the little girls are playing nicely together, I'm enjoying another cup of coffee, and I'm spending some much needed time with God. 

I have a confession to make:  I've been a grump lately. Not just a little. I've turned into the type of person I don't like to be around. Grumpy, negative, persnickety, crabby, bad-tempered, testy... Well, you get the picture. In short, I've been focusing entirely too much on me. But this morning I've had a chance to count my blessings.

Yes, it has been a Very Long Winter with A Lot of Sickness. 

BUT, our sickness is temporary. We'll get over it. It isn't terminal, so what am I complaining about? 

Yes, I've been pretty tired and still nauseous from this pregnancy.
BUT, I'm carrying a treasure. What a gift! And every time I feel this little one move I'm reminded of how blessed I am to be given this gift.

 

My oldest son will be leaving in a few months to grow his musical gift. We need to come up with money for tuition, housing, food, etc.  I don't know where the money will come from. 

BUT, my God owns the cattle on a thousand hills. He gave Josh this gift, He will provide. 

 

My husband has been working A Lot, and told me this week that he has two business trips coming up soon that will take him away for a few nights. 

BUT, my husband has a job, and he gets paid on a regular basis. And he provides very well for us.

My list can go on and on. We have a home. We have food. We have children. We have a sweet granddaughter. We have Jesus. See? I just needed to look beyond me. (And I think the sunshine helped just a little.)

So now that my attitude has been adjusted, please forgive me for my very whiny last post.

And now that I'm feeling much more like myself, I think I'll go clean something, bake something, organize something and sew something. Oh yes, that's more like it.

From my corner of the world

I've lost count. Sophie isn't feeling well. Again. She has a fever. She's sneezing. She's coughing. She's teething. She's very snuggly (I like that part).  I'm so glad I didn't wean her completely in January. She's so miserable, but nursing seems to help. I am a little tired of sitting so much, but it is for a good reason - I get to snuggle Sophie. Poor baby, even when she's napping I can't put her down - she wakes up crying as soon as I do. So yesterday, last night, and today I sat up holding my baby. So she could sleep. Sitting can make a body tired. I don't know how and I don't know why, but I know that it does.

And we've had a lame goat. One of our girls was limping the other night. She was the same the next morning. Worse the morning after that. We thought maybe it was hoof rot. We checked and it wasn't. Then we thought maybe she slipped on the ice. Now she seems to be better. She's walking slowly, but she's walking. I'm not sure that I like having goats right now. Especially sick goats. Not when I have sick little ones to take care of too.

And I'm going into my 19th week of pregnancy. I'd love to be able to tell you that I'm feeling great, but I'm still nauseous and very tired. Other than that, all is well.

The rest of the family seems to be doing well. Spring still hasn't quite arrived here yet. We even had more snow today. We had lots of snow/sleet/rain the other day which made driving very slippery, but the next morning was sunny and the trees were coated with ice and sparkled and I took pictures for you but my son stole my camera again so I can't download them for you to see. But I want you to know I thought about it. And spring is coming. I have it on good authority.