Thursday, October 27, 2011

Two Months

It's pretty amazing how time works. You know, how when you're counting down the days until something exciting happens, it seems like time just drags on. You can almost count the seconds, and they drag on endlessly. But when you're looking back at something, it seems like time has flown by. And you wonder where it all went and how is it possible that it went by so fast.

Today, Silas is two months old. Two months since that whirlwind of a labor. Two months since I first saw that face that I fell oh-so-completely-in-love with. Two months since I looked into newborn eyes that held so much wisdom -is it because he still remembered being in heaven? And I wonder, where did the time go?

I'm still waiting for some down time to just sit and hold my newborn. But my newborn isn't newly born any more. I'm still waiting for the few days of slowness with my husband to just sit together and enjoy the moments of welcoming this precious life into our family. But we haven't had any moments to just sit together.

I've only had postpartum depression once in all my seven babies. I don't have it this time. I don't have time for that. But I have mourned the busy-ness of our lives this last season. So busy sending a child off to school. So busy working on our little bit of home and the land we have been blessed with. So busy enjoying a far-too-brief visit with our oldest and our granddaughter. So busy trying to get started and be diligent about school work. So busy trying to maintain a semblance of sanity in this almost insanely busy but blessed life we have. So busy that I don't know where the last two months have gone.

My little Silas. Still a baby, but so much changed from when he took his first oh-so-calm breath. I've had a few brief moments of just BEing with him. I'm hoping to find more. He has definitely carved out his place in our family. None of us can remember what life was like before he came. Happy two months to you, my little man-cub.

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